Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
