btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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