i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize