I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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