isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
