Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
