you traded sex for a burrito?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
