I must be too annoying 4 u.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
