You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
