So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
