I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize