In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
this boner is exhausting
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
