dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
my poor anus
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
