singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
