"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
