Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
