He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
