Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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