So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
