I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Enjoy the penises
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
