I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
