HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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