Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
