On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize