We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
