No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
