Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She's the barista slut.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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