batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
