found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
