You're my little dorito
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
