my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
