remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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