Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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