You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
