I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
