Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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