Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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