Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
