Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
