I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize