Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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