i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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