Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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