White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
