just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
