so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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