im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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