I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
babies were throwing up all over the place
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
