i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
