some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I have fence marks all over my body
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
