hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
