I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize