worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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