is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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