you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
