I skipped work to stalk him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
