I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
