Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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