If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
