Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
