Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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