his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
