i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
