2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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