His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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