I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
