Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
