Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
