I like to think it a success when the cops are called
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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