As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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