marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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