Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
