too bad you live with your parents still
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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