No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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