She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize