You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
