Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
