a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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