we made out on top of his cat.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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