I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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