just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
