my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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