I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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