its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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