My nipple is on Facebook.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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